Fire and Ice: revised
by nursegirl07
Summary: A different version of the conversation between Jacob and Edward during the chapter "Fire and Ice" of Eclipse.


Edwards POV

"You asked for a space heater, and here I am." Jacob said, as he crawled into the tent. I was grateful that Bella would finally be warm, but I resented Jacob for the things that I wish I could have most---a beating heart, a body temperature that didn't match the snow, the opportunity to fight tomorrow…  
I glared at him as he crawled into the tent, and got into the sleeping bag with my girlfriend. With my fiancée. I tried to read his thoughts, but his mind was going a million miles an hour and I couldn't keep up. There was something he was hiding….  
All I could do was simply watch as he wrapped his arms around her as she buried her face into his 108.9 degree skin on his chest. I let my resentment turn to relief as she started to fall asleep with the warmth radiating from his skin. Jacob closed his eyes, and his face looked troubled, even when he was trying to feign sleep. I waited until I was sure she was asleep before I decided to talk to Jacob. I was almost positive he wasn't asleep yet. His face still looked concerned.  
"Jacob? Are you awake?"  
He moaned and stirred. "Barely… what do you want?" he mumbled, and propped his elbow against the floor and rested his head in his hand. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. His eyelids were halfway down, but I could tell that his eyes still had some hint of trouble hiding behind them…  
"I wanted to speak with you… about Bella." I said cautiously. This struck a bad note with Jacob, and his face turned into a grimace.  
"Yeah, well, what do you want to say to me about that topic, exactly?" he retorted quietly enough not to wake her. I guess I deserved that one.  
"I just wondered… if you ever thought that maybe she would have been happier with you… if I had never come back." I asked carefully. I already knew his answer, but I felt that Jacob was deeper than he let most people think.  
"Asking me if I ever thought about it is a stupid question. Of course I do. But you know the answer, so I don't know why you're keeping me from sleeping by asking me." he spit. He considered his words carefully for a minute, and continued. "I would have been enough for her if you had never shown up. We could have been happy together. I would have never known I had a wolf gene in me, I would have never had to gone through ANY of that if it weren't for you. You have no idea how much I resent you for that. But if you had never come back… she would have never healed. I would have never been enough for her. Your dazzling, and perfect, and so 'un-selfish'" I could hear the quotations in his voice…"and then look at me. I turn into a dog when I loose my temper. What would you choose if you were Bella?" he snapped.  
"I would choose what was safest… what didn't put my life in danger…"  
"See, Edward, that's your problem." He said, waving his arm at me. "Taking risk is what makes life interesting. Doing something irrational and irresponsible once in a while. Being reckless. Doing things just for the fun of it. I don't really think you understand that concept very well. That risk, the idea of you being forbidden, makes you just that much more attractive to her. That's why she became so attracted to me… because I was fun loving, and nice to be around, and somewhat forbidden. I'm not that way anymore… and even if I were, I would never be in comparison to you." He added solemnly.  
"But you do compare to me, Jacob. You have so much more to offer her than I do. You can grow old with her, you can sleep next to her every night, eat breakfast with her every morning… you can keep her warm. And protect her if needed." I said quietly. He comprehended that for a while. His mind was working very fast again. Then something completely different crossed his mind. A plan.  
"Jacob, no." I pleaded.  
His eyelids suddenly popped open all the way, glaring at me with intensity. "Don't even try to start telling me what to do. Unlike you, I'm going to do what's best for her. And although I resent you for many things… in some strange universe where you were actually seventeen and I wasn't a werewolf and we weren't fighting over the same girl… I think we could have been friends. But I'm going to do this to you and her both… as a favor."  
"But it wouldn't be a favor, Jacob! You would break her heart." I whispered, trying to hide the panic in my voice.  
"And you would heal it. In about a day. Probably less. I tried for 6 months, and nothing I did worked. I'm sure it will be much easier for you…" his voice trailed. I couldn't believe he was considering this. He couldn't just run away.  
"Now if you don't mind, I haven't slept in days. One of the mutant creatures in this tent actually needs sleep to function. Good night Edward." Jacob said curtly, and laid his head down onto his arm that he had folded into a makeshift pillow. His eyelids slid shut, and his face was relaxed with sleep within less than a minute, his breathing became deep and even.  
Wow, I thought to myself. He must be exhausted. I concentrated on my thoughts so I didn't have to hear anything else going on. I wondered how long it had been since Jacob slept last. I wondered about the battle tomorrow, going over what I would have done had I been allowed to go, in my head…  
Suddenly, outside Seth howled, a more high-pitched sound than the other wolves. Probably because he was younger, I thought.  
Jacob started awake, his eyes popping open at the sound of it. He had huge circles under his eyes. He blinked a few times to clear his vision, and in his head I could see that he was confused about where he was. He had only got to sleep about a half an hour. He remembered and spoke at Seth through the tent.  
"What was that again, kid? Didn't catch it…" he mumbled, his voice still groggy with sleep.  
"Sam has to have a meeting right now?" he complained, through a huge yawn. Seth  
barked something I couldn't understand, but I could read his thoughts. Sam was waiting in the clearing, along with the other 6 wolves that would participate in the battle. Seth said he wanted Jacob, but he was ordered to stay here. Even his thoughts sounded disappointed.  
"Alright, alright. I'm coming. I guess a nights sleep before a huge battle is asking too much, anyway." Jacob mumbled to himself as he crawled out of the sleeping bag, careful not disturb Bella. He cast one glance at me and was careful to control his thoughts. I had a strange feeling that this would be the last time I saw Jacob like this again.  
"Jacob… for her sake, please be careful. It would tear her apart if something happened to you. Not to mention, myself…" I whispered as he stepped out of the tent. He popped his head back in, needing to have the last word.  
"I won't be careful for anyone's sake but the pack. They need me to fight. I'm defending my tribe against vampires, like I was born to do. If something happens to me in the process, well…" he cut out, hearing a howl in the distance that no human ear would possibly hear from this distance. "Gotta go" he said quickly and ran off.  
"Wait!..." I called, but it was to late. He was gone.


End file.
